Monday, March 26, 2007
Conversations with Dad 4: The Visit
The following conversation occurs from inside my parents' house, after I arrive at the front door and ring the doorbell.
Mom: Who is it?
Dad: Coming!
Mom: Who is it?
Dad: What do you mean, "Who is it?" It’s probably Ces!
Mom: Coming!
Dad: We’re coming!
Mom: Hold on, we're coming!
Dad: Be right there!
Mom: Coming!
Dad: I said I was coming!
Mom: Be right there!
Dad: What does "I'm coming" mean to you, Isilda?!
Mom: Hold on!
Dad: I said I got it!
Mom: Just a sec!
A few minutes pass.
Dad: Did you get the door, Isilda?
Mom: What?!
Dad: I said, "Did you get the door, Isilda?!"
Mom: What?!
Dad: DID YOU GET THE DAMN DOOR OR NOT?!?
Mom: I thought you were getting the door!
Dad: How could I get the door?! I’m in the bedroom painting the chair!
Mom: Well, I’m in the kitchen making you your tea!
Dad: How complicated is tea-making that you can't get the door?!
Mom: But I thought you said you were getting it!
Dad: Well, do you want the chair done today or not?!
Mom: Well, do you want your tea done today or what?!
Dad: Tea or chair, Isilda! Tea or chair!
Mom: Fine, I'll drink your tea!
Another minute passes.
Dad: What did you say?!
Mom: What?
Dad: What did you say about the tea?
Mom: What?
Dad: WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT THE TEA?!?
Mom: I said I'll drink your tea!
Dad: Are you trying to be a wiseass?!
Mom: You don't want me to make you tea then I'll drink it!
Dad: When the hell am I supposed to finish the chair then, Isilda?! Huh?! When?!
Mom: Just forget it!
Another minute or so passes
Dad: What did you say?!
Mom: What?!
Dad: What did you say?! Just before!
Mom: I said, "Just forget it!"
Dad: You know I don't forget stuff, Isilda!
Mom: You forgot to answer the door!
Dad: You still haven't let Ces in yet?!
Mom: I was making tea!
Dad: I was painting the chair!
Mom: Fine, I’ll get the door!
Dad: No, I’ll get it!
Mom: I’m getting it!
Dad: I said I’m getting it!
Mom: I’m almost there!
Dad: I said I'm getting it, Isilda!
Mom: I don't need you to get it!
Dad: Oh, I'm getting it!
Mom: Then open the door!
Dad: Fine! I guess I'll have to get it!
Hear footsteps approaching. Hear doorknob being jiggled. Pause.
Dad: Where did you put the keys, Isilda?!
Mom: What?!
Dad: WHERE DID YOU PUT THE KEYS, ISILDA?!
Mom: Tea's done!
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